I am pretty sure all police officers feel the same way I do, when I say I would do everything possible to keep my family safe. But, I bet right now, in your mind, you are thinking "at home". That of course, is the easiest place to defend. Ask any Secret Service agent where they would most like to protect the President. "At the White House, because it is the safest place he can be."
But what about those many moments when we go out to eat, or to the fair, or to some other social outing with our family when we are nowhere near home? How do we protect them from harm then? Don't rely on the piece you carry off-duty, nor expect that all the training you have given to your loved one about firearms handling (if they even like firearms) will get them out of whatever crisis may arise in public. What of your children? How have they been prepared for the unexpected that we see all over the news today?
Here's my thinking...create a Crisis Plan. Your plan should consider as many scenarios as possible that fit what your family is capable of. It can be elaborate and detailed too, but I prefer simple. I also prefer a plan that will not ask my family to engage with danger, but to escape from or avoid it all together. I'm not talking about binders filled with drawings and bullet points. I'm talking about talking with your family about the reality of your job and the scenarios you could find yourself in when with your family. I spoke plainly to my wife and let her know that cops are targets. Sometimes we don't even have to go looking for trouble, it just finds us - on or off duty. I also stated that we arrest people and sometimes those people may walk up on us in public because they recognize us and may have it in for us. I also expressed that active shootings and unfortunate events can happen wherever we may be and at any given time.
When we go into public, she already knows that I have a habit of scanning our environment for threats. It is how I was trained and how I have become after 20 years. She knows I am not scoping out other women. She also knows that I will be the most likely person to see something is about to go down first. So, we developed somme Crisis Planning around this aspect of my training.
One example is kinda like when our son started walking home from school. We had a special word that an adult would use with him if we authorized them to pick him up from school or along the way, especially in the event of an emergency where we couldn't get to him. So, in this case, the plan is if I see that something is about to go down, whatever it may be, I have a "Crisis Phrase" like, "Now would be a good time for you to go to the bathroom." Translated, it means I need you to get our son and yourself out of the building or safely tucked in the restroom or in hiding. Then call 911 on your cell phone and advise them that your husband/wife is a police officer who needs assistance at our location.
This does three things for me, right away. One, I know my family is out of harms way. Two, I won't be distracted from the threat worrying about my family. Three, help is on the way. Just make sure you use the plan wisely and make sure you remind each other every now and then of what to do in case this or that happens.
There are a whole lot of other things to think about as a cop with a family, to keep them safe. Like having adequate life insurance if you get killed on or off the job. Remember, they have to continue their lives without you, which may include education needs for your children. Rent. Groceries. So have a plan. As the Boy Scouts say, "Be prepared" and hope you never have to use it.


